3/28/2012

This week has been difficult. I think all the stress (even though it was a very positive stress) finally catching up on me. So my fatigue level has been in full tilt. I swear that is the worst... To be SO tired that even carrying on a conversation with someone is "WORK". I don't mean just tiring - no EXHAUSTING!!!!!! My family knows when the fatigue is really on me - I do NOT TALK TO ANYONE!!!! It is not being mean or weird or snotty... It is just being so very tired that talking or carrying on a conversation is even MORE wearing. I am excited because when I get home tonight my NEW running shoes should be there!!!! So guess what I am going to do tomorrow before and after work time... I give you ONE guess --- that is correct - go run in my new shoes!!!!! It is amazing to get so excited over such a simple thing. But you also have to stop and realize that I had a period of about 5 years where the ONLY shoes I could stand on my feet were Crocs. I am NOT kidding. The neuropathy (nerve pain) was so HORRIBLY INTENSE that those where the only shoes that did not absolutely drive me crazy with pain. So I am even worked my way to wearing "normal" shoes. I cannot wear all shoes - there are still many shoes that do drive the nerves in my feet CRAZY. It is kind of like - eating ice cream when you have a bad cavity -- only with me it is my feet. Like I said before, my feet feel like they are on FIRE 24/7 and like I have pebbles in my shoes and also numb feeling... I know strange - and you say - how can she walk let alone run. The intensity of these feelings has diminished quite a bit. It is still VERY MUCH there but -- it does make everything difficult. But you just get kind of used to it and move on... Because if you don't move - the muscles will stop also. Then what will happen - you are without mobility. I am fighting that with everything I have... I want and need and desire to be active and mobile for a long, long, long time.....