Friday, May 25, 2012

May 25, 2012

Tomorrow, will be one full week since the BIG RACE. The race results have come in. I was 124th out of 227. So that makes me middle of the pack. For my division (old lady), I was 12th out of 14. So still was not last... That is one of my goals - I really do not want to be last. Next year, will be different results!!!!!! This week has been tough with my training for the 5k. I know that the fatigue from the stress of the 10 mile and that God-aweful heat caught up with me. I did do the 5K route for the Pecatonica race on Mon, Tues, and Wed. Wednesday was my best time and I am feeling like I have regained my energy level back. Thursday night I was going to run but there was a bad wind storm. I did feel it was worth jeopardizing myself. So I have not run since Wednesday. I have gone to the gym every morning and on Thursday and today - I just did strength and core training. I also worked on my pilates. Pilates is WONDERFUL for those that have balance issues. I really attribute Pilates to how I have gotten to the point of being able to run. For me, by learning how to manage that Core and strengthing it has been absolutely fantastic! I also think the strength training of the weight lifting has increased my overall strength. This really helps with running up all those hills. So once again, tomorrow is supposed to be very hot. But the race is at 8a and I will be done in about 1/2 hour - long before it really warms up. Then off to have my coffee and lefse!!! Yes - I bought extra in Stoughton to bring home so I can enjoy them after the race. We will see how it goes. My time has to be better than last year; 38.41. I think I can do better than that. I have been doing that time - by myself without the added push of other people around me. My best time last year, was at the Orangeville 5K and I was at 34 mins... So let's see how we do this year. One of my problems with speed is that when I go too fast - the damn miss-stepping comes to play. Then I am on the ground - that does not help my time at all. I am ready for the summer fun of the 5K's. I really enjoyed the races and the people. I believe I have improved with time and also my endurance. But like anything "proof is in the pudding". Where that expression came from - who knows. So last night, I had a lovely chicken pizza. I don't like anything heavy before a race. So tonight may be rice and/or salad... I don't know yet... But I am psyched about this race and this weekend. I think it will be WONDERFUL!! After I am still for awhile with my coffee and lefse then we can go out get our swimming pool chemicals and various plants. So we will be busy.... I love it!!! I am ready for the summer, let's go outside and play!!!!!!!

Monday, May 21, 2012

my Syttende Mai Run - 2012 - 10 Mile Run results

my Syttende Mai Run - 2012 - 10 Mile Run results

Yes I did it!!!!  2hr 14mins..  My time was not the best... But the heat was incredible...  It was causing me all kinds of issues.  I got about half way and the heat started to take its toll on me.  I was starting to really miss-step - which we know leads to falls.  So I would at those points start walking...  I thought it was more important to keep upright - otherwise I may not finish.  Then the other REALLY wierd difficulty was I had a huge tremor with my right arm.  I know that it was due to everything being SO stressed and I was getting SO dehydrated due to the heat.  So it started just shortly after I got into town and then my right arm just started shaking uncontrollably.  I still kept running.  I thought - damn MS - my arm no big deal - I CAN keep running with that... So I did...  I even crossed an intersection in town where a police officer was directing traffic. He saw me with that arm going CRAZY and ran up to me and asked "are you OK, are you OK????"  I told him "Yes, I have MS... I will be fine..."  and was STILL running.....  It did stop after about a 1/4 mile... So at least I did not cross the finish line with my arm flayling like some weirdo.....    At the finish area (Mandt Park), my husband, Brian, had told them of my story.  How I have been working ever since my diagnosis with the dream to be able to come back to Syttendi Mai to run.  Well, I did that...  I found out on Sunday, from the race director, that they were all very touched by my story.  She said that, you did not know but you had a whole community cheering you on the WHOLE WAY!!!  I was just so overwhelmed by that statement.  She said that, she hoped that I return next year for the race.  I told her, it is not hope I will.....  it is that I AM COMING BACK NEXT YEAR...  in fact you can sign me up RIGHT NOW....  I know from my past years, not only is the mileage very challenging BUT it is the elements that is the real contender....  That is something that you can not train for... All you do is try to work through it.  I understand there were MANY runners that had serious issues due to the heat.  It was REALLY bad... We did not go through ANY shadey areas.  It was tough!!!!  But I did it....  I know my results ... I KNOW I can do better.....  Let's think - I was not even able to run a full 5K till mid-July....  So I know that next May with more run time under my belt - I will blow my time and do GREAT!!!!  Whether I place - I don't know...  There are way too many lifelong devoted runners involved in this....  But then again - I really NEVER thought I would be doing the Syttendi Mai run.....  I really did not think it was remotely possible for me --- and I did it!!!!!!  I did accomplish most of my goals - I stayed upright, I did not finish last (overall or even in my division), but - I did not accomplish the 100% run of the course.  That does upset me but, I know the heat was horrible.  I also know that when I did walk (as fast as I could) I was started to mis-step alot.  So in order to avoid a fall - I chose to walk - just damn fast....  When I got to the finish line there was a volunteer waiting for me...  I said right away, "I have MS and I cannot stop moving...  so she has to take the chip off me (it was velcoed to my ankle).  She said, not a problem they knew about me and I could walk as much as I wanted.  She helped to steady me and we walked for about 10 mins till the nerves calmed down.  You see - since the wiring in my body is all weird due to the damage from the MS....  I have been in a movement for so long that I cannot just come to a full stop.  I have to slowly stop the movement.....  So after an intense run - I have to walk sometimes for about 10 mins or more....  So it is kind of like -- you are driving on the freeway at 90 miles an hour - you cannot come to a 100% in one second... You have to slow down to the stop otherwise you will shout yourself through the windshield.....  I am the same way - I have to slowly come to a stop... So I walk it and slow everything down.  Then I can literally sit down or stop movement...  I know that it sounds truly weird - but this is the way it is....  Like I have said, one of the wonderful things through this journey of my running is that I have learned so much of my "new normal".  Which may be 100% opposite the general population or even me not that many years ago....  But that is OK - also by learning to LISTEN to what my body is telling me it has helped not only with my running (which is has - no major injuries so far!!!) but also with my daily life.  My staminia is SO MUCH better... do I still get horrible fatigue is - damn straight -- but it is MUCH BETTER!!!  The neuropathy which can be horrible - is more tolerable and has lightened up a few degrees.  The MS hug which feels like it is squeezing you SO hard that you can barely breath - has released some of its hold.  Do I still have these issues - HELL YES!!!!!  But it is better and more tolerable.  Just like toward the end of that run... It was like the MS was saying to me... "well we did not get her to stop with the foot drop and heavy leg from running and the heat... so we will do the tremor thing and see what that does to her....  but I still kept going and told the MS to go to Hell....  then it did try the MS hug and was squeezing my midriff and left leg with all its might -- but I did continue and told the MS to go to Hell where it came from and belongs.....  I WILL NOT let IT overtake me....  I WILL ALWAYS RISE ABOVE MY MS!!!  I HAVE CONTROL OF MY BODY --- NOT MS.....  Now - I have to get ready for my 5K race in Pecatonica for our Memorial Day celebration.  I plan to knock that race out of the park.......  Then I did buy lefse at the bakery in Stoughton, it is in my frig as I write this.... So I will come home after the race and YES -- my favorite.... lefse and coffee.... Hopefully it is a nice day and I can sit outside and just enjoy!!!!!!!! 

Friday, May 18, 2012

5/18/2012

Happy day after Syttendi Mai everyone!!!! Technology Syttendi Mai (means 17th of May) which is Norway's Independence Day. Stoughton WI is a town where we lived and had a family lake cottage. It is originally a Norwegian settlement and every year they celebrate the Norwegian Independence Day. There is a FULL weekend of numerous activities from the runs to canoe races to the art/craft show to the quilt show to the bunad show (Norwegian folk costumes) to parades to dancing to plays to music to worship services to..... on and on..... But as we ALL know that I have been going on incessantly about my involvement with the 10 mile run. I am very very excited and nervous and really praying that I can accomplish this goal! Ever since I began actually running, last year with Run Club, and found out about this distance at Syttendi Mai I thought --- "maybe???" Then last July, I began ACTUALLY running 100% of a 5k and the thought of doing the 10 mile got a little more plausible. Then in April I actually ran 100% of a 12 mile route in Pecatonica. Then the vision of this race got even more obtainable... Then I ACTUALLY ran the 12 mile route EVERY weekend up to this point that is a total of 8 -- (YES EIGHT TIMES)to current date. Which I really did not think was going to happen. I really thought if I got 6 times in would be great - I was factoring either bad weather or that my body was not going to be cooperative. But I REALLY did it. So there is one HUGE GOAL - that I actually SURPASSED!!! WOW!!!!! Let alone the Secondary Progressive MS ---- how many 50+ women do you know that have run 12 miles in the past 8 weeks?????!!!!! I don't know anyone.... Even of my run club - there is not any women (who are DECADES younger than me) that have ran 12 miles at one time during this spring.... So yes - I am congratulating myself for a job well done. I think I have earned it!!!!! It may sound EXTREMELY egotistical - but you know I deserve it!!!! I think we NEED and DESERVE to congratulate ourselves when we have done a good job or reached a milestone. Why not?????? I remember when I was in grad school, one of our first sessions, Sister Mary Ellen was giving an orientation. She said this was a difficult program,..... and that after you have survived every course reward yourself. She also encouraged us to think of something as a LARGE REWARD when we obtained our graduate degree. I actually took her advice. I did reward myself after each session of courses - sometimes it was just having a drink with friends or watching a TV program or doing something with the kids.... simple things.... But at the end - I did reward myself.... I went to Hawaii and got to spend time with my best friend from college.... I REALLY appreciated those "rewards" why? Because I worked my ASS off for them and also for myself and my family.... Now, with this run. Yes, this is something I have been progressing toward since 2007 - THAT IS SIX (6) YEARS... YES, THAT LONG!!!! From walking down my block (which is a total of 3 houses) with a WALKER then to a CANE..... Taking and teaching water aerobics to aerobic and exercise classes at the gym to running club to actually competing and placing in 5k races to running 12 miles in very hilly terrain to actually competing in a 10 mile race...... WOW!!!! Well, it only took almost 6 years with of work. YES - I SAID 6 YEARS WORTH OF VERY VERY HARD WORK!!!!!!! So if you think this is easy for me - WRONG... If you think now that I have ran 12 miles that all this is easy --- WRONG!!!! EVERY TIME IS DAMN HARD!!!! I MEAN NOT JUST A LITTLE HARD --- DAMN HARD!!!!!!!!! But is it worth it -- OH YES!!!! Why, my overall mobility has improved drastically, my overall health has improved drastically.... so let's think about this.... it sounds pretty benefical.. doesn't it????!!!! The whole point of this is my health and mobility. I want to be around to be ACTIVE with my kids and some day maybe grandkids. I want to see my own kids blossom further into adulthood.... It is wonderful!!! I don't want to be taken care of... (that would probably kill me - I am way to independent and stubborn for that...) I enjoy being a FREE SPIRIT... God gave me a free spirit and drive and determination and stubborness.... why - maybe it was to prepare me for tackling the HELL of MS.... You know - I use every ounce of all those attributes EVERY DAY and EVERY MINUTE to tackle the MS MONSTER. If you were running next to me - specially when I start getting more fatigued and the drop foot thing starts happening or the legs feel like they are being squeezed so incredibly hard that they are going to burst - I verbally and many times LOUDLY start to cuss out MS... I tell it with every horrible word I know to go away and back off. I am NOT going to ALLOW IT TO OVER TAKE ME..... Now, mind you, I go off and run by myself in the middle of the county - there is no one except some animals that really hear me. Otherwise, I sure someone would probably come along and lock me up. But it is my way of venting out those frustrations and rising ABOVE where the disease really wants to do to my body.... I just told it to go back to HELL where it belongs. Now - I am NOT cussing out any persons ONLY THE MS.... That is the devil that does NOT deserve any kind words EVER and never never will!!!!!! Today is a day to celebrate!!!! I have made it this far - WOW!!!! Tomorrow is my day!!! I am going to run the 10 miles - 100% and stay upright and not be last!!!! Then after my shower - off to Fosdahl's Bakery (I hope they have enough lefse and coffee for me, LOL) -- here I COME!!!!!! Then the following weekend is the start of the local 5k races.... It will be a FULL summer of running - I LOVE it!!!! I have dedicated this 10 mile run to EVERYONE WITH NEUROMUSCULAR DISEASES (INCLUDING MS) AND CANNOT RUN.... I RUN FOR NOT ONLY MYSELF BUT FOR ALL OF YOU... I LITERALLY THINK OF ALL MY FRIENDS WITH MS; YOU ARE RUNNING WITH ME, YOU ARE ENCOURAGING ME, YOU ARE APART OF ME!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, May 11, 2012

May 11, 2012

Well, one week from tomorrow is the BIG 10 mile race in Stoughton, Wisconsin. This what I have been working for since I started running last spring/summer. Now, mind you, I just stopped using my CANE last spring (around April) and did not even run a 5K 100% till mid-July. Now, I have been consistantly running 12 miles (100%) for the last 5 weekends - one more to go. That is pretty damn good for a 50+ year old woman with secondary progressive MS. This week, I am only focusing on my training and nutrition. That is what is very imperative!!!! Last Saturday, I ran the 12 miles and did fall at about 11 miles - damn! I only skinned my knee and my face a bit - no real damage. I did walk a couple of yards to get myself together and off I went. I was more mad at myself and the damn MS than anything. I know EXACTLY what happened to cause the fall. I was tired (like I said I was at mile 11) and then came up on the bridge (now this is the 6th one I cross on my route) and the change in pavement makes a HUGE difference for me. Since I cannot feel with my feet (due to the extremely numbness - it is like they are ALWAYS asleep) and the nerve damage. The message of something as simple as a pavement change from my body to my brain takes longer and then it has to go back to my feet to accomadate the change. Well, for me it takes more time due to the extensive nerve damage. As I have stated before, I know my big problem areas - change of surface, downhills, and curves. These are the 3 areas that I have to REALLY REALLY concentrate on my footing. This is why I don't want or really like to run with another person. It is not being mean or anti-social it is just that it takes a 10000% of my focus to watch my running surface and listen to my body. I cannot even explain how much concentration this takes... Obviously, I can do it... Look at what I have done so far... It is really quite incredible.... Last year, I found out about the 10 mile race in Stoughton and I decided that was my goal to be doing that race in the following year. Well, due to A LOT of really really hard work, nutrition, family, friends and God at my side.... I will be there next Saturday... I have the following goals: 1. stay upright (no falls) 2. finish 3. run it 100% 4. not be last (that is just embarrassing). Then after that I pretty much have my day planned at the festival - it is a Norwegian festival. First go to the bakery - have lefse (Norwegian potato super thin like pancakes) with coffee (lots and lots of coffee)... Walk around awhile - work off the lefse and coffee.... Lunch - corn on the cob and turkey or vegan bratwurst.... Walk around some more... Snack later --- some wonderful Toffuti "ice cream".... Walk around with the various activities then dinner - more corn on the cob and turkey/vegan bratwurst and any lefse that may be around.... Also some krepkaka - I would accept...... YUMMMY!!!!!! So I am going to base the rest of my day around food. I will go and do activities between my meals.... I am still staying on my same nutrition - but I am just going to ENJOY!!!!!! Right after the race - I will lay on the ground and "die" for awhile... then shower and be ready to GO!!!!! I am so very very very very excited - can you tell?????!!!!!!!!! One thing I have really been battling this week is the DAMN MS FATIGUE MONSTER!!!!!! I really HATE it! It over powers everything. We had the Walk MS last Sunday - which we really rocked... We were the ONLY walk site in the State of Illinois that achieved our goal BEFORE anyone even started walking... That is really cool!!!!!!!!! But it is A LOT of work and I am the chairperson.... I have also resigned from being chair. So I went out on a high note. I just don't have the time to devote like I really want - not if I am going to continue to race and my other activities... I am just getting stretched to thin. I will still be involved and do stuff but just not lead. Plus, the chapter office has not been real helpful they actually caused more problems than anything that needed to be remedied. So it is time for me to step back. The people on my committee are the ABSOLUTE BEST in the whole world - I LOVE and RESPECT everyone of them with my WHOLE HEART!!!!!!!! This is EXTREMELY SINCERE!!!!!!!!!!! With that said, I am praying that this race goes well and I am able to achieve ALL my goals. Because EVERY TIME I run - it is not just for myself but I think and run for EVERYONE with MS that cannot.... After the race I will "reward" myself!!!! If this goes OK - I would really like to do another 10 mile or at least 10K toward the end of the summer. That way it will keep me training on the distance running. Plus, it would be interesting my time in May versus the end of summer.... But I am going to wait before signing up for anything like that till AFTER this race.... I have already booked a few races for the summer. My next after Stoughton is the Pecatonica Memorial Day 5k. That is right at my home. I know the route - it has been the same for years. This will be my 4th time. The first 2 - I walked it WITH MY CANE... and was NOT last... Last year, I just started running. I ran it about 50 to 60% and actually got 3rd place in my age group. That was the shock of the century. Now that I am running 100% - it will be interesting to see what happens!!!?????? I don't have a clue - I just know that I will give it everything I have... That is all I can do..... OH - maybe after Pecatonica race I can have some coffee and lefse... I have to make sure I buy extra packets in Stoughton next weekend -- JUST FOR ME!!!!!!! Yes - reward myself with FOOD!!!! Oh - why not!!!!!!

Monday, May 7, 2012

5/7/2012

Well, survived a very, very, very busy weekend. I really thought the MS fatigue MONSTER was going to over take me but, I WON!!!! What do I mean by that? My MS friends - TOTALLY understand but the general public I don't think so. MS fatigue is a symptom of MS - many people with MS deal with MS fatigue. This is not just like because you are busy you are tired.... No, MS fatigue can come on you and over take every aspect. You never know when it may come upon you - so it is a ticking time bomb. But many times - when you are really busy or there is a very stressfull situation it does tend to bring on the fatigue issues to very heighten levels. How do I explain MS fatigue --- how about being SO EXTREMELY tired that you could soil yourself in public with ALL your family, friends, co-workers, ect around you and believe it or not --- you REALLY do not care..... That is how tired you are.... So when someone says to me, how I am tired also... No - it is not the same... This type of extremely fatigue feeling can last for a day or days or weeks. You do not know.... For many people this is the first real symptom of MS. I know with me it was. I was feeling SO extremely exhausted on Mondays after a weekend of activities. Now, we are talking normal weekend activities. But I was just exhausted - it usually took me to Wednesday to feel like I had a full energy tank again. Also mind you - I am in my 20s and 30s at this time. I even went to the doctor at this time. He gave me iron pills... Which yes - my iron was low. But that was not it.... It is a very strange feeling and really hard to verbalize. That is another thing on when I am extremely fatigue - I become 100% NONVERBAL. Believe me, the amount of energy it takes to carry on a conversation is mind blowing...... Anyway, back to the weekend..... I started Saturday with my 12-mile run. (I have one more weekend opportunity before the 10 mile race.) I did pretty good on time - but about a mile before home I fell on the bridge. Why - I know EXACTLY why I was getting tired and there was a change in the surface going from the street to the bridge. And since, I was not concentration as hard as I should be - down I went.... DAMN!!!~!! But no damage -- I fell pretty much on my right part of my face and a small scrape on my knee. There was no real blood or bruising. So I got up walked about 3 yards to get my barrings back and off I went. My time was not horrible but it could have been better without the damn fall. It was 2hr 40mins. I was really hoping to get to the 2hr 30mins mark... Close damn close.... But maybe next weekend!!!!!! I did run Sunday at the Walk MS.... I was going to do the trail (one time is 1.5 miles) a few times but it was severely thundering and lightening. So I chose the safe thing and only did the trail once. At least, I got a little run in. This morning it was all I could do to push a mile on the treadmill. It is the damn MS fatigue monster. I really really do hate him. Believe I say some very choice words to that monster quite often. But I don't know how many would really defend him???? The Walk MS went VERY VERY well - despite our challenges with the MS Society staff members. We even surpassed our goal of $40k before we even started walking. We are the ONLY ones in the state of Illinois that can say that!!!!! Now, how awesome is that!!!!!!! I have also decided that I will NOT be chairperson next year. I am not even sure if I will participate in the Illinois Walk MS. This is due to the fact, of my own time constrants and various interests and aspects from the Chapter office. At least - I am going out on a HIGH note!!!!!! But enough of that.... we are also planning a WONDERFUL evening of pizza and beverages in June.... Thank you, Christine.... Right now - focus is 100% on the run... I have ONE more weekend opportunity to do the 12 miler... I just have to maintain my focus that is so very imperative!!!! As for the fatigue monster, it will let loose here in the next day or two... I just have to ride it out... That is the hard part being patient and letting the fatigue just ride its way out....