July 12, 2014

Well, I have NOT been running this summer due to the tendon tears in my left ankle. This has been caused primarily due to the MS. What has happened is that the MS has affected the muscles not only in my left hip but in my left ankle. We worked on strengthen these muscles but, I still tend to bring my left foot inwards when I walk or run. So the problem is not going to be able to be resolved. As I know, the MS will march forward and continue to attack my muscles. I have done my very best to strengthen my overall muscle tone and progress. But the MS is doing its very best to knock me down. I have been continuing with my biking and have really increased my overall endurance. Believe me --- this whole issue has been MORE THAN FRUSTRATING AND VERY DISHEARTENING. (YES - EXTREME UNDERSTATEMENT!!!) My therapist and I had a very frank talk last Tuesday, even through I have made progress I will never be fully correct with my ankle. The MS is causing the left foot to twist inward. No matter what I do and what exercises I do I cannot force it to stay straight. I can get it straight but, as soon as I fatigue the foot goes back to the inward twist. As one of my good running friends told me, look at what I have accomplished 3-10 mile runs and one 1/2 marathon. We both started running at the same time with no prior running experience. Yes, I have worked VERY, VERY, VERY HARD for these accomplishments. That is not a question but, I don't want the journey to end. The therapist told me that best I can do with my running is short runs, ie 5-K's. Those are nice but, I REALLY enjoy the long runs. But I am getting out and getting in LONG bike rides now. I have really progressed with this sport and truly enjoy it. So maybe this is where I am supposed to go now. I am not giving up by ANY STRETCH!!! I just need to change gears. Right now, I am trying to heal the tendons and will participated in the Stoughton 5K at the end of the month. If I have to walk a good majority of it... so be it. Then maybe if I just cut back on my running and only do the Stoughton 10 mile and the Pecatonica runs in May and then nothing till later in the season. I don't know... All I know is that I have to keep moving forward, that much I know. So as the MS is trying to really mess with me - I will find other avenues to keep moving. So as ALWAYS AND FOREVER --- FORWARD!!!!

June 5, 2014

Yes, soon I will be the Nana of two wonderful grandchildren!! Today, as I'm writing this Kollin is napping in my arms. That is pretty sweet! Well, I have NOT run since the Pec Memorial Day race. I have started seeing the therapist this week. He is the same one I saw before. He put me through a few exercises, ultrasound, and assessments. Told him I was still doing the hip/balance exercises 3X per week. He wants me to continue with those. I told him I plan to be released by the end of July. At that time, I plan to start training for the 1/2 marathon in September. The therapist was not so sure about that or me to continue with running. I was VERY upset! (Understatement). But then I thought look at where I started and NO ONE ever thought I could do what I am doing. So maybe I could get back to it. I am keeping my exercise up and increase my biking mileage. So even with this set back - I am still moving forward. ALWAYS FORWARD!!!!

May 23, 2014

Well, I LIVED through the 10 mile race in Stoughton, WI!!! Yes, tendons are still in tack!!! YEA!!!!! This was my THIRD year of completed that race. I also received my very coveted race shirt. YOU ONLY RECEIVE THIS IF YOU FINISH!!!! So they are really special and worn with GREAT PRIDE AND HONOR~!!! I also saw my best little grandson when I was done. That really made me very happy to have my family there in support!!!!! This race was specially difficult due to the tendon tears. I ran it 100% but, really took a very easy pace. I did not want to push to hard and have those tendons snap. I was already PUSHING THE ENVELOPE TO THE EXTREME!!! With the more relaxed pace, my time was longer. But oh well... I finished and did not snap any tendons. So I am good with that!!!! Now, this weekend I have the Pecatonica Crooked River 5K. That will be my LAST TIME RUNNING FOR THE NEXT 6-8 WEEKS!!! OH -- I am going to die without running!!! But I am going to focus ALL MY OUTDOOR running time to biking. I do have my new "big girl bike" and that is what I am going to do!!! Maybe all this will make me a better distance runner. Who knows... I am trying to think very positive. I was thinking during the last couple of miles of the Syttende Mai race - how this was my VERY LAST LONG RUN for 2 months!!! So I decided to celebrate the run. I was celebrating the whole way of that race. Every person I passed - I would tell them what a great job they were doing and to keep going. I know that the race is very difficult. I don't know what race these people were doing but, it did not matter. There were 3 races going on simultaneously (the 10-mile, 20-mile, and 17-mile walk/run). The weather was PERFECT... It was cooler, a light breeze, and sunny. You could not have asked for anything better. After I got through the race, showered, and off for my prize -- coffee and lefse!!!! The rest of the weekend, I was enjoying every activity that I could!!! It is ALWAYS SO MUCH FUN!!!! This whole week I have really been resting that tendon... NO AEROBIC activity... only Pilates and biking. So hopefully, I can cruise through the 5K race. I will do the same thing... just run... I am NOT GOING TO PUSH IT... just take it easy. Then after the race, breakfast with our running club. That sounds like a pretty wonderful way to start a holiday weekend to me!!!! Remember ALWAYS AND FOREVER - FORWARD!!!!

May 16, 2014

May 7, 2014

Exactly 10 days to the 10-mile Syttende Mai race in Stoughton, WI. I did get to Oregon (where race starts) last Saturday. I ran the full route, never stopping. I just kept a steady slower pace. My main goal is, as always to run it 100% and to stay upright. It took me 2:29 which was much slower than previous years. But then I was not dealing with tendonitis. I STILL have not seen the podiatrist since our first appointment because I have been rescheduled. I did have the MRI done and have read the report from the radiologist. I am supposed to have an appointment this Friday, we will see what he said. I just keep running and eating a lot of ibuprofen. Which is not really a good thing. At least, I know it is not a bone spur. That could be devastating!!!! So far this week, I have run 4 days in a row. I have not done that in a long time. The weather the last few days has been decent. But I continue with my regular active lifestyle. I don't believe in slowing down. I refuse to allow the MS to get the upper hand. This will be my THIRD year of doing this race. That alone is AMAZING!!! I NEVER would have thought -- me with Secondary Progressive MS and NEVER running before could be at this stage. It has been a LONG, LONG climb. Starting at the very pit -- weighing 270 lbs and using a cane/walker only FOUR years ago! I REFUSE to go backwards. I enjoy being active and plan to do my damnest to stay that way!!!! I was hoping to maybe do the 20 mile race this year but, it was not meant to be. Maybe next year, who knows. The one truly AWESOME thing is at the finish line my new grandson should be there. He can see his Nana running hard. Next year, I will have another grandbaby greeting me at the finish line. That is SO VERY EXCITING!!!! Right now, I am hoping for decent weather. I plan to run it easy and steady. So now and always --- forever forward!!!

April 17, 2014

Yes, this picture is real! This was the scene looking out my backyard on Saturday morning. That is NOT SNOW BUT HAIL!!!! Yes, there was really this amount of hail. I was planning on going out in the morning and try to get in a run. I'm VERY GLAD I looked at the forecast prior. It had been looking like rain all morning. Believe it or not, I did get a short run that day late in the afternoon. Sunday was nothing but rain and cold. This is not my year for running. My ankle is still VERY PAINUL!!! (Understatement!). I am doing nothing but eating Ibuprofen and alternate cold packs and moist heat. I really pray that next week this Doctor can fix me!!! This has been HELL!!!! I was hoping to get in a long run this weekend but, I don't know. I have been doing some short runs this week and I have REALLY been hurting. Sometimes - life is a BITCH!!! I know the MS caused the "wobble" in my ankle which caused this issue. Which then in turn, caused this "whatever" with my ankle!!! I may whine and bitch but, I will not ALLOW the MS monster to take me down!!!! It can go right to HELL where it belongs!!!! So right now, I am trying to run what I can. It is hard because, any run I do I pay the price with the aftermath. The pain is getting more intense. I just have to go with the thought that next week I will be getting an answer to this nightmare. That is all I can do!!! In the meantime - ALWAYS FORWARD!!!!

April 11, 2014

Well, the MS is REALLY TRYING to give me the one-two punch to keep me from running. I have been dealing with a "wobbly" ankle since late fall. I have seen a GREAT sports medicine doctor at University of Wisconsin. She sent me to a GREAT physical therapist in Rockford, IL. I have been going and doing his exercises faithfully (VERY FAITHFULLY!!!) That is GREAT!! He has been working on having me strenghten the abductor and adductor muscles in my left hip. The MS has basically (in my kindergarden medical terms - FUCKED WITH THEM)! As we know - EVERYTHING ALWAYS RUNS DOWNHILL... standard fact of life, right? So back to the kindergarden medical terms it has caused my ankle to be unsteady and wobbly. OK - so I have been doing the 25 exercises (many of those are counted as 1. right-side then 2. left-side) for 2 mins each. I was doing these DAILY AND I MEAN EVERY MORNING. I am usually awake at about 4a because the neuropathy and spasms start in on my legs and feet. So I might as well get up and be productive with my time... So anyway, I get up and go over to our little gym and do those LOVELY AND I MEAN LOVELY hip and balance exercises. I have been progressing very well with these exercises and me the type A person I am --- well I have been "dismissed" from physical therapy. But I am to continue the exercises 3X (AND STRICT ORDERS OF ONLY 3X PER WEEK)!!! So - OK! That is exactly what I have done. This last weekend the weather was actually decent. It has been SO VERY LONG since we have had that. I was outside running as quick as this little MS body could move. Saturday I did a shorter run of only 7.45 miles. I really felt pretty good. On Sunday, the weather was GREAT!!! I ended up running 12.49 miles. I really kind of wanted to go farther but was pooping out the last few miles. Oh, well. Afterwards, I was tired (expected), my feet were burning (expected - due to MS neuropathy), and my left ankle hurting. All week the pain in my ankle has been intense. We started our Run Club on Monday and I could not even run. That says ALOT for me!!! I did call the therapist on Tuesday. He told me to put ice packs on it and brace it. Also to let him know next week how it was feeling. I also informed him of my forecasted running schedule. I did do ONE very short run on Wednesday and the ankle did hurt afterwards. Finally, today (Friday) the pain is better. But, it almost feels like I have a pebble at the bottom of my ankle bone. It is very odd. So I did go and see my primary Doc today. He is sending me to a podiatrist. I see him in about a week and a half. My doc says that, he thinks it could be a bone spur or something tendon related. He told me to continue having it braced and put cold compresses after workouts and moist heat after workouts/runs. Otherwise, to take Ibuprofen for the pain. So as of the moment, I am not starting the running season on a high note. It is frustrating to say it lightly. But, I will bitch and whine, of course... Also - I will continue my fight.... Did the MS cause this issue - don't know... Really, until we find out what it is - no one knows... So YES - right now - I am a bit bummed... but I will continue YES -- and ALWAYS AND FOREVER FORWARD!!!!!

March 5, 2014

The weather still has not been very cooperative for running outside. We are STILL getting snow/ice!!! My last outside run was over 2 weeks ago. Plus, I have been dealing with this wobbly ankle every time I run. I did finally get to see the sports medicine doctor at University of Wisconsin a week ago. The place was amazing! I even had to run the track there so she could see me run. I was put through all the diagnostic paces including full xrays and MRI. She did witness the wobbling ankle and agreed with me it was MS related. She also applauded me for seeking attention to this before something bad happened, like stepping down wrong and snapping the ankle. If that happens it is VERY likely I am done running and affect my overall mobility! She could only find that I did have a small bone spur. She asked me if I felt it, I laughed because I am very numb in my feet and legs. She recommended a physical therapist in Rockford that she has worked with and highly recommended. I was thrilled to be able to get an appointment with him the next week. I saw him on Tuesday and he had me pegged QUICK! He saw the ankle issue and my spasticity with my leg. He concluded that my issue is stemming from my hip. I know that my hip flexors are extremely tight. We do some hip flexor exercises in Pilate's and every time I am about in tears. YES, IT HURTS THAT BAD!!!! But, I do the exercises because I realize that muscle is VERY tight and needs to be worked. He gave me a series of exercises to do. Did it hurt... YES is an understatement!!! But, I forged through! The other great thing about this therapist is that he is a runner. I asked him about signing up for my May race in Stoughton, WI. I had not decided whether to sign up for the 10 or 20 mile race. He advised me to sign up for the 10. This is due a couple of factors; weather conditions of not getting outside to really train and the wobbling ankle. So now, I have a series of hip strengthening exercises to do on a daily basis. I completed them this morning and did my regular Tabata type exercises. I will tell you for someone who is generally numb and does not feel muscle soreness. I can feel free this!!! My hips and butt have been sore all day. But that is good, it is showing those muscles who is BOSS!!! It is ME, not the DAMN MS!!! I will continue working through these exercises EVERY day. Because it is not just running but this has to do with my overall mobility! I will NOT ALLOW THE MS to WIN!!! Not without a DAMN good FIGHT!! It is not going to happen!!!! So I just keep fighting and as ALWAYS and FOREVER FORWARD!!!

Febuary 28, 2014

I know it has been quite awhile since my last post. Most of it has to do with the HORRIBLE winter we have had. Getting out and running has been next to impossible. We have had more snow and EXTREME COLD this year than in DECADES!!!! The other obstacle has been the DAMN MS!!!!! I have been having a horrible time of keeping my left (weaker side) ankle steady while running. What happens is specially when I get fatigued - the ankle wobbles from the time I pick it up to set it down on the pavement. Now this is VERY SERIOUS!!!! Because - I may set that foot down at a wrong angle that could snap the ankle!!! I did purchase a really good soft brace that I have been wearing to try to keep the ankle from wobbling. It has helped quite a bit. I also contacted my MS doctor and told him the situation. I also explained that I wanted to see a sports medicine doctor to help me with this situation. He agreed and I did visit the sports medicine doctor this week. She put me through my paces... (Which is fine....) Now mind you before I drove an hour to Madison, WI --- I did one of my friends hardest workout that she has put together yet... So I get to the UW facility... and WOW!!!!! It is a new building (huge) with a state of the art gym and HUGE ASS track... The Dr runs tests on me including X-rays and MRI of my ankle. NEXT - she wants to see me run. I am thinking - "I'm tired from Laura's killer workout but why not..." So I run the track as the Dr follows me in a segway. I run it once - she asks if I would do it AGAIN! I thought I was going to die right there!!!! But I'm like "what the hell - if I die I am at least in my hometown". So I did it. I go back to the exam room and she tells me that there is nothing physically wrong with my ankle. She believes that the wobbling (which she witnessed) is due to muscle weakness from the MS. She also applaudes me for being in tune to my body and recognizing an issue BEFORE there is an EXTREME SERIOUS ISSUE (breaking the ankle)! So now what do I do... She advising me to go to a sports medicine physical therapist. She evens knows and highly recommends one in Rockford. So now I have an appointment this Tuesday with this PT. I have not signed up for ANY races yet, all because of this ankle issue. The other factor is the DAMN weather that has not allowed me to do any REAL distance. So I do not really feel comfortable in signing up for my Syttende Mai race yet. I will definately do the 10 miler but, would like to try the 20. It would be a GREAT pre-cursor for doing the full marathon (26.2 miles) in September. Believe me, I do workout all the time and workout HARD!!!! But I also know when I need to pull back and right now I am in a bit of a quandry. Hopefully, within the next week or two I will know what I can sign up for in May. Even this weekend of running, the weather S-U-C-K-S!!!!! The forcasted HIGH is predicted to be 10 degrees with snow... GREAT!!! So it sounds like "inside play days" for me. I just keep going with all my cross training. I really cannot do much more. It is very frustrating! But I will get past it... I will move forward... I have no doubt about that. The DAMN MS has to try and throw me that nasty curve every now and again. What fun would there be if it didn't! Life with MS would be WAY TO BORING, otherwise!!!!! So -- yes -- I'm still and ALWAYS - FORWARD!!!!!!

January 17, 2014

The holidays are over and it is back to the normal routine. Christmas holiday was GREAT! As you see, we got to spend some time with our new grandson. He is just WONDERFUL! As for the rest, we were able to spend time with my daughter's family. My son and new wife were in Colorado. We did talk on the phone but, it is not the same as him being here. I do miss him but, he is a Marine and that is what dictates his time. I do cherish the time when he is here. As for my running, it has not been so good. I have gotten outside and ran a few times. But this winter we have had ALOT of snow, ice, and extreme cold. I did get out for a short run last weekend. That was WONDERFUL! Anytime, that I can get out there I truly relish! Spring will be coming, I just have to keep that in mind. Also, this EXTREME cold has really been messing with my MS symptoms. The cold REALLY causes me tremendous pain in my legs/hands. Plus, I feel very exhausted. I feel like I am constantly battling trying to keep up with my exercise/running but at the same time -- I just want to crawl into a hole and deal with nothing and no one. I know that sounds SO HORRIBLE and very SELFISH. But that is what that MS fatigue monster is like... It is a TRUE AND UTTER BITCH!!!! I sometimes think that is one of the worse MS symptoms is the fatigue. It is really hard for people to understand how the fatigue monster affects people with MS. It is not just being "tired". It is SO MUCH MORE than that!!!! You do NOT want to anything to do with anyone or anything. I personally get EXTREMELY QUIET when the fatigue monster hits me. One of the reasons is that, talking will actually use up some of my very precious energy. This may be energy I am using to exercise or to do some task. Seriously, it is THAT INTENSE. I do get through the fatigue spells. They last for awhile -- I bitch and whine... but after about a week or so they go away. They just are always lurking and you never know when they are going to raise their ugly heads and over come you. There is nothing you can do about it. I do have to say that, believe it or not, my fatigue issues are MUCH BETTER than they used to be. The nutrition, exercise, mind-set all have caused it to greatly improve. I know that the winter and the lack of the wonderful sunshine also plays on me big time. To be in so much darkness and cold is hard. I just tell myself -- SPRING IS COMING, SPRING IS COMING.... Soon it will be warmer and no more ice on the pavement. I have gotten over to the indoor track at a neighboring high school a few times. It is really nice to have that option. I try to get down there on the weekends when I can and it is available. Otherwise, I am outside. Last weekend, I got out on Sunday and got in a few miles. So all I can do is keep trying and fighting. Many people would say, well if your MS fatigue is so bad you should stay home and rest. They don't understand - I CANNOT!!! That would be giving into the MS BITCH!!! NO - I have to fight... So even going and working out for an hour or so is at least keeping those muscles tone. So as ALWAYS AND FOREVER FORWARD!!!