July 25, 2012

I survived last week's race in Rock City. It was VERY hot and humid. The humid and heat really affects my running. I was able run it 100% but it was really difficult. My time was not has good as it could be. I did have a WONDERFUL surprise at this race. A former member of our run club joined us for this race. This was her first race of the season. Plus, she has been recently diagnosed with MS. So I can relate to her on many aspects. Running is hard and running with MS is beyond hard... Everyday is so different... You never know how your body is going to perform. Like this week, for example.... After the race - I was fine. I was tired but managed. Then Sunday, there was a light mist about half way into my morning run. So I went for a longer run. In fact, it is the longest run I have done in quite awhile (5.2 miles), mainly due to the heat. Now I am back to bad fatigue issues. Yesterday, I did not run in the morning and tried in the evening. It was very slow feeling and only could do a couple miles. Today, I could not get going at all this morning. So I will take a day off. I am hoping that my energy level comes back to me and I can go out tomorrow morning for a nice run. I do have another race this Saturday. This race is in Belvidere (town east of me). I have not done this race before. If my energy level is good and it is not so blasted hot - I should be fine. All I can do is what I can do... I do like to run in the cooler weather. This high heat is really hard on me. I think that is what takes so much of my energy away. I do rest after my races. I usually go and do some sewing or in the pool. Sunday, my energy level was through the roof. It was wonderful. Not only did I have that wonderful run in the morning, I also had a nice long bike ride that afternoon. So as you see my energy level is very unstable. Yes, I do take medication for my energy level. This is a very big symptom of MS. Having chronic fatigue is a BITCH.... Believe me everything you do takes GREAT energy. I can feel when it is gone and feel when it is coming back. It is very odd and extremely hard to explain. I am also very excited because on Friday, I am making plans to visit the Deer Park in Oregon WI. This is a Buddist retreat center. At the 10 mile race, we literally ran right by their property. It is a beautiful area. I have been wanting to go there for years. So am making the arrangements and plan to visit their on Friday. Today, I will take a day off running and exercise. Then hopefully tomorrow morning I can run. It would be nice if I could do a long run. I do enjoy the long runs. But I have to have the right conditions. That is why I am looking at doing some longer races (10K's) in the fall. I know there is no way to do them in the heat. But to wait till Sept or so - now I am fine with that. MS and heat do not mix!!!! But on the whole, with this summer being so horribly hot - I have lasted very well. Especially with the races. I do believe that my overall stamina and energy level endurance has greatly improved. Yes, I do have my down days, such as now... But my overall is MUCH better... So like everything - you have to take the good with the bad. That is the way it is with MS. You have to let the bad (whether it be pain, fatigue, cognitive issues, ect) roll along -- then try to gear yourself up for the passing and try to get back to your status quo. Whatever that baseline is. We all have different baselines. That is the nature of Secondary Progressive MS... You ALWAYS experience symptoms but the level of the symptomks tends to be at different levels. Believe me it is really easy to go to the darkness when the fatigue monster really hits. He is SO RIGHT on top of you. But you cannot let him in. You just have to let him pass by.... That is a REALLY REALLY REALLY hard thing to do. I know that many MS folks have difficulties with that concept. You have to stay strong, stay with the belief that you can overcome and not let the fatigue monster or MS suck you down to the darkness. You have to stay focused to the light... It is SO SO very important!!!!! Remember - ALWAYS FORWARD!!!!!!!

July 17, 2012

The weather is really heating up again. Today it should be about 100 degrees! This past weekend I plotted a new route in town 4.2 miles. It is a great route with steep hills, grades, and curves. Plus it is 100% in town so if I have any difficulties there is always someone to go to. That is important especially with this extreme heat that we have been having. I really don't think it is safe to go way out into the country without water. My 12 mile route in this heat is just not safe. Plus, it is getting that time of year for the fairgrounds to get busier so running through there is not working out as well. I did not run on Monday morning or this morning. Yesterday, I had to go to my semi-annual visit with my neurologist at University of Wisconsin in Madison WI. My appointment was for 8a so I had to leave early in the morning. So I did go to the gym last night and did a mile on the treadmill. I only did this because it was close to 100 degrees and not safe to run outside. This morning I really, really wanted to run but my body did not want to. (I really hate that!!!) My body was very spastic (that means that my legs feel like they are being squeezed by some invisable elastic and my feet felt like I had tight shoes on (I was bare foot in bed). When I get that way, everything tends to constrict. So I end up in a ball, it is really hard for me to straighten out and when I do it just down right hurts. So obviously, it was not the morning to go run. So I slept in till about 6a. Even now, at 9a, I still feel very stiff in my legs, arms, and hands. It may be due to the extreme heat that is playing on my body. Even though, I stay in the air conditioning or water when it is hot - the heat still plays on my body. Hopefully, tonight I have 2 exercise classes maybe I will snap out of this constrictive feeling. Sometimes, the muscles constrict so severely that it cause GREAT PAIN - I mean you are crying because it hurts SO SO MUCH!!!! Othertimes, it just feels like you have really tight spandex on your feet, legs, arms, and hands.... It hurts but you are not crying in the corner.... So there is a difference in intensity. To verbalize the neuropathy pain is VERY difficult. You cannot see this pain. You may be able to a spasm when everything because very tight and stiff. Then it like all the joints and muscles have just frozen in place. They do not move... You can see the muscles and veins actually become noticable through your skin. That is not fun. So anyway, I think due to the extreme heat my legs are more spastic and constricted. As I was first mentioning, before I digressed, I had my semi-annual check with my neurologist at University of Wisconsin in Madison. This is one of the closest places to me that has a MS Clinic. The neurologists in the Rockford/Freeport area are all general neurologist. It is like having your family doctor doing open heart surgery on you. Not that your family doc does know his stuff - it is just not his speciality. So I STRONGLY RECOMMEND anyone with MS go and seek a MS specialist at a MS Clinic. Even if you have to travel - you probably only have to see them once or twice a year. Anyway, my visit was very good. He continues to be amazed at my progression. I told him about my running and up to 12 miles and did a 10 mile race. He was really taken back. He and the med student asked me about issues with my running and I told them. This includes the heat issues and having ice the moment I cross the finish line, having to re-learn how to run and read my body cues, and sometimes just getting mad at my MS and telling it in very colorful language where to go as I run.... They thought that last part was pretty funny. It really is... I think if people heard my voicing my opinions at my MS when I am really frustrated at it... they would lock me in some padded cell. But I vent these emotions out at the MS... not at a person... BIG DIFFERENCE! By venting out my emotions and frustrations I am able to conquer and regain my perspective and NOT LET THE MS WIN!!!!! That is the main thing... I hear some many people with MS saying, I can't do this or that... My response is, why? Who said that you cannot do this or that? And even if someone said this or that, who is to say they are right? I look at things this way.... Unless there is someone glowing, walking on water, and feeding the multitudes with a loaf of bread and a fish -- I don't 100% buy into it... I have to find out for ME!!!!! Yes, I research things... I look at the science of nutrition and exercise. My biggest question when I start things; is this going to kill me? Exercise and running is not going to kill me. Yes, maybe when the truck runs me over but then I won't worry about to much of anything... My nutrition of eating whole foods, non-processed, fresh and raw, non-red meat, low fat, low sugar type foods... is that going to kill me? NO - that is just eating a healthy balanced diet... That has actually helped me with keeping my blood pressure in-line and my overall health that is in very good shape. It does take a bit of work to do a nutrition change about from the extremely unhealthy American diet. Yes, I make my own bread that is primarily rough cut wheat or rye. I make a dessert that we have through the week. The dessert is primarily sugar-free and low fat. (Everyone needs some sweets.) This week for our dessert I made a black forest mousse with a chocolate crust... Does that sound good??? It is!!! I made the chocolate crust in a 9x9 pan... Then layered sugar free cherry jello mixed with tofu for first layer and sugar-free chocolate pudding mixed with tofu for the topping... That simple... Not only do you have a WONDERFUL dessert. But it is very healthy!!! The protein content is high so this is great for someone who does not eat meat very often. So I get my protein and satisfy my sweet tooth at the same time... Not a bad... So there are many alternatives to the old nutrition that we all grew up on... It is SO unhealthy. I know that nutrition has really helped me SO VERY MUCH with my MS and also with my health overall. Yes, I continue my battle with weight. Since I was dx in 2006, I have lost 110 pounds. NOT KIDDING!!!!! I still would like to go down about 20 lbs more... Weight is something, I will always have to work on. I really think some people are genetically more deposed to having weight issues. So those people (like me) have to work harder at losing and keeping weight off. Plus, as many MS folks know we take many drugs to help with spastisity and tremors. These drugs are all "downers" or slow down your metabolism. Then you add to the mix being post-metapausal, you really have a recipe of SLOW METABOLISM. So it takes MORE dilegence to lose weight and keep it off. But it can be down... Right now, I am just persitant with my nutrition and exercise. That is all anyone can do... Just try to keep moving forward -- always forward!!!!!!

July 11, 2012

I survived last Saturday's race (barely). The race was close to home in Winnebago, IL. The temp during the race was over 90 degrees... It was HORRIBLE (understatement)!!! I was doing well till the half way point and then the heat just got to me. I started mis-stepping and had to break down and walk/run the rest of the route. I HATE THAT WHEN THAT HAPPENS!!! I really was doing well - had a nice pace and everything! But what can I do? It is better to break down and walk part than end up on the pavement because I have mis-stepped and fallen. My time for the race was HORRIBLE!!! My worse time all season...40:43.. By some odd reason, I actually received 3rd place! I did live! Cooled down immediately and then rested the remainder of the day. I did run the next morning without any problems. Then the fatigue hit on Monday morning. Fatigue is a very odd devil that lives with me... I never know when it is going to "hit". You would think the day after or even that day of something so strenuous would knock me down... No, sometimes it takes a couple of days after a stressful event to hit me full force. It is really very odd. So anyway, on Sunday I ran my new route (in Pec) just fine. In fact, I even over shot my street by a block and added to my distance. The weather the day after the race was ideal, nothing like the day previous. That is all part of the challenge to the races - you never know what the environment is going to be like... This morning, I was back at it. Ran my route from Summit to the fairgrounds and around the grandstand twice, 3.5 miles. That went well. The temperature this morning was wonderful! Now, this weekend I do NOT have any races. I know, very odd, a whole weekend of rest. I will definetely run my route. Maybe if the weather is decent, I can do a double of my route (7 miles). I would leave a water bottle at the end of the driveway. Then I can make sure to hydrate. I am very leery about running out on my long path in this heat without having a "safety net" of being able to come home for water or whatever. Otherwise, I feel like I am managing my MS pretty well at this point. Yes, I do have issues and will always have issues. I have Secondary Progressive MS. That means that my symptoms do NOT GO AWAY AND COME BACK... They are there and I tend to slide slowly downhill. I amazed my MS doc last time I was at UW MS Clinic. He said that, someone with secondary MS was not supposed to be getting better. I attribute it all to the nutrition, exercise, overall outlook, family/friends, ect. I have stated this many times... It all makes a HUGE difference!! One of the nice things when I run besides listening to my music that I like is that I meditate. Now, I know that you are thinking - how can she meditate when running? Yes, I have to be very diligent to my running and the pavement. But I am also have to have a very calm mind. My mind at that time is very peaceful. It HAS to be peaceful or I could not concentrate on my body and the pavement, ect. Some people go and work out or run to vent aggression. I cannot have those types of thoughts when I am running. That would consume my thoughts then I would not be able to be in tune and able to be mindful of the biofeedback. People may think I am really tuned into my music. I am not. The music is nice but it is a tool to help me with pacing. Most of my mind is on me, physically. I know that other runners are probably also working on reading their bodies as they run. But for me, due to the various MS issues (spasms, mis-stepping, muscles that decide not to work, tremors, ect) I have to really concentrate on reading my body 100%. But you know what... that is OK... It has taken me time to learn to do this. I think I have a handle on how to do this. It does not mean that sometimes my body betrays me and goes south, I just have learned how to avoid some of it and what to do when it goes into its own thing. Such as the mis-stepping, usually when my body is really stressed such as high heat... When it starts getting very chronic - I have to walk. I can regain myself and then run again. There is nothing I can do about that. I am not going to give up and say, forget it or feel like a failure. I also need to keep in the front of my mind why I persue this... Yes, to maintain my mobility as long as possible and also I run for everyone with MS who cannot. I always run with my MS hat... I am showing support to the MS community. I am also educating people that not everyone with MS is in a wheelchair. Yes, we still have symptoms and they suck -- but for many of us those symptoms are invisable to others. They do not see the neuropathy pain that is so severe that you are crying in pain, they do not see the MS hug that is squeezing your midriff so hard that you can barely breath, they do not see that your vision is blurry or have double vision, they do not see how you cannot find the words to verbalize, they do not see these things... EVERYONE with MS knows these things are VERY VERY REAL!!! Do they suck? YES!!! But you just have to get up and say to "hell with it" and go do your thing. I REFUSE TO HAVE IT BEAT ME!!! I WILL CONTINUE TO GIVE IT A DAMN GOOD FIGHT!!!! ARE YOU WITH ME???????

July 5, 2012

HOT, HOT, AND MORE HOT!!!!! That is the forecast!!! It is predicted to get up to 106 degrees Fahrenheit (actual temp) today!!!! It has also be extremely dry. We have not had any good rains. In fact, it is so dry that many communities in the area cancelled their fireworks for last night's 4th celebration due to the fear of fires. All the grass and yards are basically brown. In Pecatonica, no one waters their grass because our water rates are just WAY to expensive!!! Oh well.... The other part of this is the heat. As I have explained MS and heat are not good together. In fact, quite the opposite and a bit of a dangerous combination. I have explained this in relation to the thermostat in a car getting stuck. When that happens the car will over heat and stop running. It may even ruin the engine. Same with people with MS. We cannot regulate our thermostat, ours gets "stuck". Therefore, after a race I HAVE TO COOL DOWN IMMEDIATELY!!! IT IS NOT AN OPTION!!!! Otherwise, that thermostat gets "stuck" and I will over heat which will cause serious issues with my cognitive aspects, coordination, tremors, heart rate and on and on... The only thing to do is FORCE THE BODY TO COOL DOWN AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE... That is why after a race I ice down... I literally have ice packs that I wear... It forces the body to cool down and get that thermostat back into line before it goes 100% off alignment. It is the time of year, for more activity at the fairgrounds so running through there in the morning is getting more difficult. So I have plotted a new course. It is a little farther (3.5 miles). (I was doing 3.4 with my fairgrounds route.) I think it is a little more hilly. I did it today in 45 mins. That is not too bad considering the heat. Even early this morning (6a) it was still very very hot. It is predicted to get to 106 degrees today (actual temp). Tomorrow is a non-run day being that it is the day before a race. So tonight is my 2 exercise classes. In fact, I am teaching the Pilates class for my friend Laura tonight. As I have mentioned, I LOVE Pilates. It has helped me so much with my stability and core strength. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT TO ALL PEOPLE WITH ANY STABILITY ISSUES!!!!!! Last week was the 5K in Stockton. This is EXTREMELY HILLY AND ALWAYS VERY HOT race!!! I was very pleased with this race -- I ran it 100% (1st time) and received a 3rd place in my age group. So I came home not just with the shirt but also a beautiful medal! Tomorrow's race is in a neighboring town, Winnebago. I have never done this race. Just due to the heat, it will be extremely challenging. Then I have a break from race for a week or so... That is OK - I can just work on my own training and my new route. The other interesting thing that happened to me this week is that I had jury duty. Now this is the second time I have been called. The first time, I went and sat their for awhile then was told to leave. This time I was actually picked for the jury. I served on the jury and listened to the case. It was a case regarding resisting arrest. There was two counts of this crime against this person. When we went to our room to discuss the case. We all vote guilt except one person. So then for the next hour or more we had to discuss the case to convince that person to change her vote. She finally did and we could unanimously render our verdict. We voted one count guilty and one count not guilty. But it was a VERY VERY interesting experience!!!! Which if you think about it... here at time of our nation's birthday and being part of our democratic system in action... It was really very fulfilling to me as an American. Now till Saturday, I do not run. Today, I will be in the pool. It is too hot to do much of anything else outside. Then afterwards over to the gym for a non-impact exercise class and then Pilates. Tomorrow I will probably just go over to the gym and do Pilates and non-aerobic type of workouts.

July 2, 2012

Well, I survived one on the hardest races of the season. Not only did I survive but I ran it 100% (which was my goal) and got 3rd place!!! WOW!!!! The Stockton 5K is always EXTREMELY HOT and the hills and grades on the course are very challenging!!! Last year, at that race time I was not running a 5K 100%. I was not running that far 100% till about later July... So it just shows how much I have improved. I recieved a really BEAUTIFUL medal!!! That is what I would LOVE for a Christmas present is a hanger/showcase for all my medals!!! That would be so wonderful!!! But I was looking back at my time from last year's Stockton's race I did it in 38.19 mins. This year's time was 34.52. That is an improvement in ONE YEAR of 3.67 mins or 10% improvement... That is pretty darn AWESOME!!! I know that I have done better with my time. But for that course which has so many very steep hills and grades plus the heat... I know that I went as fast as I could.... Next year, we will see... maybe I can do it faster... My next race is this Saturday... So no rest... I have been running every day since the race. I have not stopped. I have ran as early as I can to try to avoid as much heat as possible. But since the temps have been nearing 100 during the day --- even the early morning is still very very very hot. But I have been holding it together... This morning I did the 3.5 route from Summit to the fairgrounds and around the grandstand twice... I did it in 39 mins.... So that is not too bad considering the heat.... I am up to a total of 509.82 miles to date... This is since February 14, 2012!!! So my goal of the 1000 miles in one year - is a strong maybe.... I just kept track and also the challenge just for fun... What the heck??? But I am TOTALLY enjoying it and challenging myself to do more and more miles is really mindblowing!!! Here I NEVER would have thought I could do this... Not only do to the MS and all my physical limitations but there are other factors.... These factors include age (hey I am over 50); the fact that I NEVER was a runner and NEVER ran before; and there is the weight issue. I have started my whole journey grossly overweight. I still struggle with the weight and probably always will but, I feel for the first time in my life I have found the right path for me... I have found not just a "diet" but it is a way of life for me... So people ask me what I eat??? I stay with non-processed foods, alot of raw foods, no red meat, very little dairy (the only thing is yogurt a few times per week), ect.... So I make my own bread (in the breadmaker) that is with course wheat. I use very little white flour. All my flour is organic. I limit the fat content as much as possible. I use olive or canola oil sparingly. So what do I eat??? Yesterday, I had a vegan waffle (my husband made) using pumpkin and yogurt (no eggs) and sugar-free syrup, an orange and banana. For lunch I had a bowl of watermelon cut in cubes and peanut butter sandwich. Dinner was a turkey bratwurst on a homemade wheat bun; baked beans (vegan); watermelon. Then for dessert we had raspberry creme pie that I made with tofu... It was WONDERFUL!!! So there is a sample of my menu for a day. This morning for example I have had an orange and banana... I do eat ALOT of fruit and raw veggies... Tonight for dinner I will have a very large salad... But that is my dinner.... All raw greens... I LOVE it!!!! But like I have said it is a combination of items that have raised me to this point. Yes, the nutrition is a HUGE deal but also the exercise and also your overall mental status... You have to be accepting and deal with the good and the bad. When the bad (MS issues) you don't have to LOVE it... Bull --- it SUCK!!! No you have every right to get mad as HELL at it... But then you have to move on... and look at what you do have.... My MS has been a very bittersweet thing to me... If I was not diagnosed I may never have "woken up" and realized what I was doing to my own health. I was literally killing myself with the horrible nutrition and non-exercise. But the MS did "wake me up". I did realize I need to do something. I do not want to be depend on others... I WANT to be mobile... I want to be able to go do things that I enjoy... Yes - and now after 6 years of working on myself I am at that point. I can go somewhere and enjoy myself. Not go and be so damn tired that I could barely do anything. Plus be absolutely exhausted for days and days after... That is not fun... My fatigue level has improved GREATLY!! I still take my ritalin for my fatigue but it is SO SO much better. Every aspect of my symptoms have improved... There are days that it is hard, I mean REALLY REALLY hard... But you just have to keep moving.... So I do... Well another race coming up and the heat is supposed to be staying with us... All I can do is try and go... The faster I go the sooner I can cool down... That is how I look at it. I still want to go out for a long run (12 miles) but I cannot with this heat. There is NO WAY! Maybe I can do my fairgrounds route twice and stop for water half way - if I get up really early. I generally now leave at about 5:30a. So I would have to leave before 5a I think to get all that in before the heat really kills me... Well, it is 4th of July holiday this week... So I only work 2 days this week... HEY!!!! More run time for me... Plus, I am teaching Pilates for my friend at the gym this week. So I have to prepare for that... So I am ALWAYS busy -- I love it!!!!