March 5, 2014

The weather still has not been very cooperative for running outside. We are STILL getting snow/ice!!! My last outside run was over 2 weeks ago. Plus, I have been dealing with this wobbly ankle every time I run. I did finally get to see the sports medicine doctor at University of Wisconsin a week ago. The place was amazing! I even had to run the track there so she could see me run. I was put through all the diagnostic paces including full xrays and MRI. She did witness the wobbling ankle and agreed with me it was MS related. She also applauded me for seeking attention to this before something bad happened, like stepping down wrong and snapping the ankle. If that happens it is VERY likely I am done running and affect my overall mobility! She could only find that I did have a small bone spur. She asked me if I felt it, I laughed because I am very numb in my feet and legs. She recommended a physical therapist in Rockford that she has worked with and highly recommended. I was thrilled to be able to get an appointment with him the next week. I saw him on Tuesday and he had me pegged QUICK! He saw the ankle issue and my spasticity with my leg. He concluded that my issue is stemming from my hip. I know that my hip flexors are extremely tight. We do some hip flexor exercises in Pilate's and every time I am about in tears. YES, IT HURTS THAT BAD!!!! But, I do the exercises because I realize that muscle is VERY tight and needs to be worked. He gave me a series of exercises to do. Did it hurt... YES is an understatement!!! But, I forged through! The other great thing about this therapist is that he is a runner. I asked him about signing up for my May race in Stoughton, WI. I had not decided whether to sign up for the 10 or 20 mile race. He advised me to sign up for the 10. This is due a couple of factors; weather conditions of not getting outside to really train and the wobbling ankle. So now, I have a series of hip strengthening exercises to do on a daily basis. I completed them this morning and did my regular Tabata type exercises. I will tell you for someone who is generally numb and does not feel muscle soreness. I can feel free this!!! My hips and butt have been sore all day. But that is good, it is showing those muscles who is BOSS!!! It is ME, not the DAMN MS!!! I will continue working through these exercises EVERY day. Because it is not just running but this has to do with my overall mobility! I will NOT ALLOW THE MS to WIN!!! Not without a DAMN good FIGHT!! It is not going to happen!!!! So I just keep fighting and as ALWAYS and FOREVER FORWARD!!!

Febuary 28, 2014

I know it has been quite awhile since my last post. Most of it has to do with the HORRIBLE winter we have had. Getting out and running has been next to impossible. We have had more snow and EXTREME COLD this year than in DECADES!!!! The other obstacle has been the DAMN MS!!!!! I have been having a horrible time of keeping my left (weaker side) ankle steady while running. What happens is specially when I get fatigued - the ankle wobbles from the time I pick it up to set it down on the pavement. Now this is VERY SERIOUS!!!! Because - I may set that foot down at a wrong angle that could snap the ankle!!! I did purchase a really good soft brace that I have been wearing to try to keep the ankle from wobbling. It has helped quite a bit. I also contacted my MS doctor and told him the situation. I also explained that I wanted to see a sports medicine doctor to help me with this situation. He agreed and I did visit the sports medicine doctor this week. She put me through my paces... (Which is fine....) Now mind you before I drove an hour to Madison, WI --- I did one of my friends hardest workout that she has put together yet... So I get to the UW facility... and WOW!!!!! It is a new building (huge) with a state of the art gym and HUGE ASS track... The Dr runs tests on me including X-rays and MRI of my ankle. NEXT - she wants to see me run. I am thinking - "I'm tired from Laura's killer workout but why not..." So I run the track as the Dr follows me in a segway. I run it once - she asks if I would do it AGAIN! I thought I was going to die right there!!!! But I'm like "what the hell - if I die I am at least in my hometown". So I did it. I go back to the exam room and she tells me that there is nothing physically wrong with my ankle. She believes that the wobbling (which she witnessed) is due to muscle weakness from the MS. She also applaudes me for being in tune to my body and recognizing an issue BEFORE there is an EXTREME SERIOUS ISSUE (breaking the ankle)! So now what do I do... She advising me to go to a sports medicine physical therapist. She evens knows and highly recommends one in Rockford. So now I have an appointment this Tuesday with this PT. I have not signed up for ANY races yet, all because of this ankle issue. The other factor is the DAMN weather that has not allowed me to do any REAL distance. So I do not really feel comfortable in signing up for my Syttende Mai race yet. I will definately do the 10 miler but, would like to try the 20. It would be a GREAT pre-cursor for doing the full marathon (26.2 miles) in September. Believe me, I do workout all the time and workout HARD!!!! But I also know when I need to pull back and right now I am in a bit of a quandry. Hopefully, within the next week or two I will know what I can sign up for in May. Even this weekend of running, the weather S-U-C-K-S!!!!! The forcasted HIGH is predicted to be 10 degrees with snow... GREAT!!! So it sounds like "inside play days" for me. I just keep going with all my cross training. I really cannot do much more. It is very frustrating! But I will get past it... I will move forward... I have no doubt about that. The DAMN MS has to try and throw me that nasty curve every now and again. What fun would there be if it didn't! Life with MS would be WAY TO BORING, otherwise!!!!! So -- yes -- I'm still and ALWAYS - FORWARD!!!!!!

January 17, 2014

The holidays are over and it is back to the normal routine. Christmas holiday was GREAT! As you see, we got to spend some time with our new grandson. He is just WONDERFUL! As for the rest, we were able to spend time with my daughter's family. My son and new wife were in Colorado. We did talk on the phone but, it is not the same as him being here. I do miss him but, he is a Marine and that is what dictates his time. I do cherish the time when he is here. As for my running, it has not been so good. I have gotten outside and ran a few times. But this winter we have had ALOT of snow, ice, and extreme cold. I did get out for a short run last weekend. That was WONDERFUL! Anytime, that I can get out there I truly relish! Spring will be coming, I just have to keep that in mind. Also, this EXTREME cold has really been messing with my MS symptoms. The cold REALLY causes me tremendous pain in my legs/hands. Plus, I feel very exhausted. I feel like I am constantly battling trying to keep up with my exercise/running but at the same time -- I just want to crawl into a hole and deal with nothing and no one. I know that sounds SO HORRIBLE and very SELFISH. But that is what that MS fatigue monster is like... It is a TRUE AND UTTER BITCH!!!! I sometimes think that is one of the worse MS symptoms is the fatigue. It is really hard for people to understand how the fatigue monster affects people with MS. It is not just being "tired". It is SO MUCH MORE than that!!!! You do NOT want to anything to do with anyone or anything. I personally get EXTREMELY QUIET when the fatigue monster hits me. One of the reasons is that, talking will actually use up some of my very precious energy. This may be energy I am using to exercise or to do some task. Seriously, it is THAT INTENSE. I do get through the fatigue spells. They last for awhile -- I bitch and whine... but after about a week or so they go away. They just are always lurking and you never know when they are going to raise their ugly heads and over come you. There is nothing you can do about it. I do have to say that, believe it or not, my fatigue issues are MUCH BETTER than they used to be. The nutrition, exercise, mind-set all have caused it to greatly improve. I know that the winter and the lack of the wonderful sunshine also plays on me big time. To be in so much darkness and cold is hard. I just tell myself -- SPRING IS COMING, SPRING IS COMING.... Soon it will be warmer and no more ice on the pavement. I have gotten over to the indoor track at a neighboring high school a few times. It is really nice to have that option. I try to get down there on the weekends when I can and it is available. Otherwise, I am outside. Last weekend, I got out on Sunday and got in a few miles. So all I can do is keep trying and fighting. Many people would say, well if your MS fatigue is so bad you should stay home and rest. They don't understand - I CANNOT!!! That would be giving into the MS BITCH!!! NO - I have to fight... So even going and working out for an hour or so is at least keeping those muscles tone. So as ALWAYS AND FOREVER FORWARD!!!

December 12, 2013

It has been awhile since I have written... Some is due to the winter weather and not really being able to get outside and run, second is due to various events with the holidays approaching... So much to do... gifts to buy and send off; gifts to finish making; plus need to start my holiday baking.... Plus, this last weekend -- I was pretty involved in processing TWO (yes TWO) deer that my son-in-law shot.... Plus, with the EXTREME COLD it was not easy or quick.... It took ALOT of upper body strength to get the skin off. Now we are working on converting the meat to various cuts... i.e.... steaks, roasts, ground meat, and sausages.... So that keeps a body really busy!!!! Plus, it has been HORRIBLY COLD here... I mean in the negative temps.... So my neuropathy/spasticity with my MS has been in FULL SWING!!!!! For me the damage to the nerves... It is like... image having a tooth with the nerves exposed - then drinking something very cold. It probably sends you right up to the rafters. Well, that is how it feels to me in my feet, legs, and hands. With MS - you do not have the coating on your nerves, so they are basically exposed or raw... That means that every EXTREME TEMP causes me a lot of issues. With the cold - we are talking TRUE PAIN that is very INTENSE!!!! This is an understatement .. when you are off crying because you are in SO MUCH PAIN... It is not good.. Plus, the intense pain is wearing on me, I mean REALLY EXHAUSTING!!!! Now taking my energy, that is sometimes very limited add this to dealing with the cold and it is not a good combo. All I can do is bare with it and PRAY the cold snap breaks SOON!!!! This weekend, I am hoping to be able to get over to the indoor track. I really need some serious run time in, even if it is just going around in a big oval... I am VERY, VERY glad my friend told me about the track. WOW!!!! Especially, with this winter we are having so far.. I would really be screwed out of any run time. I do SO MISS being outside and running out in the countryside or even in town. Right now, even if it was warmer I could not run out of town due to deer hunting season. Yes, I wear my LOVELY road construction worker vest - but still a bullet is a bullet and I cannot out run that!!!! I am much more afraid of that than any animals! Inside, I have PLENTY to keep me occupied. I have all my Christmas projects. I did start a HUGE project in January for my daughter and husband - but I will NOT BE ABLE TO COMPLETE. This is the FIRST time I have not completed a project in time. Oh well, it is a HUGE (California King - white on white quilt - done ALL by hand). I did get all the presents for Kollin made... That was fun!!! I haven't made anything for a little one in a LONG time!!! That did eat some of my sewing time. I hope to have the white on white quilt done for next Christmas. Plus, with TWO new family members - I HAD to have Christmas stockings for them. They both turned out great, in my humble opinion - one for my new daughter and grandson... With the Christmas holiday coming up - I really hope I can get in some GOOD run time! Even if it is inside. I don't care. Right now, I am thinking that I would LOVE to increase my mileage to get up to the marathon status by fall 2014. I don't know. The same race I did this year - they are going to do a full marathon and a half. It was a nice race. I LOVED running around the lake. The nice thing about that race is that it is in the area of Madison that I lived. Also it is at a GREAT time of year - September - not to hot or cold. Madison, WI marathon is the first part of November. If it was like this year - that day was HORRIBLE cold. The last race I did was on Thanksgiving day - it was a nice 5k in Freeport. You payment to get in the race was some canned goods for the food pantry. I thought that was GREAT!!! It was a tough race due to the fact that there was snow/ice on the pavement. Since I am not the steadiest and cannot feel or compensate well with my numb feet - it was really tough. But I did the race. Not any great time but, I enjoyed it. It was the first time they had done it and they were very impressed about the turn out. I even got a t-shirt -- that I totally did not expect. The REALLY WONDERFUL thing at this race was this man. Yes, he did the ENTIRE 5K on one leg with crutches. I know that I have my issues running with my MS -- but this man BLEW MY MIND! The determination of this gentleman was so inspiring to me!!!! It just goes to show you - with determination and the right mind-set what can be accomplished. So as ALWAYS AND FOREVER -- FORWARD!!!!

November 18, 2013

I completed the Winnebago IL 8k Turkey Trot on Saturday in 59:21. The weather was MUCH better than last year. It was raining (a cold rain) prior to the race and after the race it really came down hard. I was really ready to bag this race but, my friend Renae talked me into it. It was only fair since, I had talked her into to signing up for the race in the beginning. We even had a GREAT turnout for the race from the Pecatonica crowd!!! That was really nice!!!! I ran the race with my usual pacing being cautious of the wet pavement and any debris/leaves on the roadway. That can be very dangerous and cause me to fall. So I just made sure I stayed in my groove. About halfway the wind was picking up and it did start misting... I was seeing visions of last year's race with the lightening and hail. So I did pick up my pace a bit. But it never did anything more than a fine mist. Soon after the race, the skies broke loose and it really came down. It was REALLY nice to have such a large Pecatonica group at the race!!!! It has been hard to get outside and run because of the nasty weather we have been having. That is the way this time of year is. It is very precarious. I have tried to get out on the weekends as much as possible. Yesterday, I did go and sign up at Byron High School to run the track. It is not too far away and it is an alternative for the winter than just doing the machines. That way I can at least get some distance in even though I am just going around and around (yes, becoming a hamster). I might be looking at doing one more race.... another Turkey Trot 5K in Freeport on Thanksgiving morning. This is a benefit for the food pantry. This is TOTALLY depending on the weather. If it is not good weather - definitely NOT doing this. Otherwise, this is the time I year that I start cracking the whip on my Christmas sewing projects. I have one fairly well completed and LOTS MORE to do.... The weather also keeps me inside more so it actually helps to force me to work inside. I do a lot of sewing. It is actually a two-fold benefit. With MS, one issue (of many) is the numbness of your extremities. So my hands and feet are CONSTANTLY numb and they get very stiff. The sewing helps to keep my hands/fingers nimble. So it is very good muscular exercise for my hands. I sometimes have quite a bit of issues with my hands and small motor movements. One time, I went to vote. As you know, you have to sign when you go there. The official looked at my signature and compared it to the one on file. TOTALLY DIFFERENT!!!!! The official was ACTUALLY NOT going to let me vote. Even though I had picture ID, etc... The only thing that saved me was the wonder of a small town - a couple of the other officials there knew me and could vouch for who I was. Those are some of the weird but, true issues that people with MS have to deal with on a constant basis. Sometimes, you never know when your body is going to head you in a different direction. You have to roll with it.... That is why I keep running.... I am working on keeping my mobility as long as possible. Maybe I will have it forever, maybe not... But I am going to keep working at it. I have noticed that this year, my race times have slowed down. But I am still running. The other positive thing is that I am running longer distances. That is really where I am trying to focus my training. So as ALWAYS AND FOREVER --- FORWARD!!!!

October 18, 2013

I realize how precious everyday that I can celebrate the fact that I can overcome my MS!!! I rejoice when I take off running.... I love when I can get in a good LONG run. It shows me and the MS that I AM IN CONTROL!!!! I do know and truly understand that someday I may not have the control over this HORRIBLE disease... but right now, I seem to for the most part. I am still working on my distance running. Last weekend I set out and ran our Pecatonica Prairie Path, that is fairly flat. I did get in 12.72 mile run on Sunday. So that was GREAT!!! I need more of those longer distance runs to build towards that full marathon. This week I have been taking it easy. The weather has been less than cooperative for running outside. So, my distances have been very short or just working out inside. I have been doing more Pilate's these last few weeks. The reason being, one that my buddy, Laura, has been on vacation and I have been substituting for her; two - the lousy weather outside; and three it really helps me with my spasticity and balance issues. I think many people see people doing Pilate's and because of the slow controlled movements think that it is an easy exercise. WRONG - it is FAR FROM THAT!!!!! Not only is it crucial for a good stable core, balance, flexibility, muscle toning, strengthens bones, etc... Truly not kidding.... MS attacks and works on destroying all of these. So that is why, Pilates is so wonderful for people with MS and other neuromuscular diseases. Yes, I still fall occasionally. But, believe me it A LOT LESS!!! I can even stand on one foot without holding on to anything. Believe me, when I started Pilates there was NO WAY. I had to hold something to stabilize me. Now, I can actually not only stand on one foot but stand on my toes on one foot. Believe me - this is amazing!!!! So this is so crucial for everyday life, not just running. It has helped with my core and overall balance. That is something that MS is very good at trying to destroy! So this is why I sing the praises of Pilates!!! I do wish more people would see its overall benefits. This weekend I have a race, a 10K in Sycamore IL. I did this race last year. It is a fun race and in conjunction with their Pumpkin Festival. There is a large crowd that signs up for this race, I would say over 500 people. Some of the people are even dressed in Halloween costumes. When I run, I tend to heat up very quickly so I really do not like having anything binding or obtrusive on me. I am happiest with a tank top and shorts. The weather is getting cooler whether I will be able to wear that or not we will see. Right now, the forecast is that it is to be sunny and cool (about 40-50 degrees). For me, the cooler weather is the BEST to run in. I am ALWAYS able to go farther and quicker. Since my nerves are damaged and basically exposed - to run in the heat or too cold - is a real struggle and extremely painful. Imagine having a nerve exposed with your teeth, now drink something with ice. Most people would be in terrible pain - some for me. Except that it is not just one little nerve on one tooth, it is usually my ENTIRE LEGS AND FEET that feel the effects. Sometimes (let's get real) even my hands. I am considering one more race before the end of the year, a 8K Turkey Trot in Winnebago (neighboring town). It is a nice race and close by. Otherwise, as ALWAYS AND FOREVER --- FORWARD!!!!

October 4, 2013

YES -- I DID IT!!!! I completed and ran the Garden Half Marathon in Madison, Wisconsin on Saturday, September 28, 2013 (that is 13.1 miles), 100% no walking, without falling, and I was not last!!!!! My time was a respectable 2hrs and 40mins. I took one bathroom break but that was it. This is a HUGE accomplishment for me. Not only am I 53 years old but I have Secondary Progressive MS. What does that mean? It means that I experience various neurological symptoms, pain, spasms -- ALL THE TIME -- 24/7. It never goes away. I have had to learn HOW to run with MS. Why do I say that... imagine trying to run with a swim flipper on one foot, AND a very tight spank around your midriff and left leg, the feeling that your shoes are two sizes to small, your vision will blur now and again, your feet and legs are totally numb, AND you are using every bit of energy and concentration just to keep sequence of picking up one foot, move it forward, and repeating. THIS IS MY REALITY!!!!! Not only in everyday life but, to run is even more challenging. That is why completing this half marathon was SUCH A HUGE TRIUMPH for me!!!! When I arrived at the park early Saturday morning, Big Bird and Cookie Monster were there to send me off on my journey. I was SO EXCITED!!! Who would EVER have imagined that I would be doing this? Believe me - not me nor my doctors! But I did it! Yes, it has taken me YEARS to get to the point of running this distance but, so worthwhile. I am the same person that ONLY 3 1/2 years ago became "cane-free". Yes, before that time I was using a cane and before that I was using a walker at times just to get around. Plus, the neuropathy (nerve pain) was SO intense in my feet that I could not wear regular shoes. Then there is the balance issue... let's just say not good. The ONLY shoes I could wear was Crocs. Plus the factor that I was grossly overweight topping the scales at over 270lbs. How did I get to this point? With ALOT of hard work and support from my wonderful family and friends. Without them - I don't know if I could have done it!!! I did it!!!! When I was first diagnosed in 2006 (but had been experiencing symptoms for about 10 years prior) I started with water aerobics. This did not cause the intense pain in my legs and feet since, I was not putting any weight on them. Plus, the water helped stabilize me. Swimming had ALWAYS been my sport. I was on various swim teams growing up and in college. Running -- NEVER!!! Hated it even when we did it in gym class, now I LOVE it!!! It goes to show you - how you change over the years. Distance running seems to be something that I have mastered. Not only have I learned to read my body but, also to concentrate on my footing and balance. This is not easy. When I am running I am generally looking down. This is because I literally cannot feel the pavement and its imperfections. This is also why I prefer not to run with other people. To have other people around me, takes my focus away on my footing and concentrating on my movement. I enjoy the solitude and I also know that I am NEVER alone. Right now, I am celebrating my VICTORY OVER MS. MS is an unpredictable disease at any point, I may not be able to run or do many of the daily activities. But, TODAY I CAN. I celebrate that fact. What is in my future? Right now, I am working on increasing my distance mileage. The goal is to be able to complete a FULL MARATHON (26.2 MILES) IN 2015. Why, why not!!! I don't believe in allowing MS to beat me. I am going to continue to battle that ugly monster! I will continue my vow -- "ALWAYS FORWARD"!