January 17, 2014

The holidays are over and it is back to the normal routine. Christmas holiday was GREAT! As you see, we got to spend some time with our new grandson. He is just WONDERFUL! As for the rest, we were able to spend time with my daughter's family. My son and new wife were in Colorado. We did talk on the phone but, it is not the same as him being here. I do miss him but, he is a Marine and that is what dictates his time. I do cherish the time when he is here. As for my running, it has not been so good. I have gotten outside and ran a few times. But this winter we have had ALOT of snow, ice, and extreme cold. I did get out for a short run last weekend. That was WONDERFUL! Anytime, that I can get out there I truly relish! Spring will be coming, I just have to keep that in mind. Also, this EXTREME cold has really been messing with my MS symptoms. The cold REALLY causes me tremendous pain in my legs/hands. Plus, I feel very exhausted. I feel like I am constantly battling trying to keep up with my exercise/running but at the same time -- I just want to crawl into a hole and deal with nothing and no one. I know that sounds SO HORRIBLE and very SELFISH. But that is what that MS fatigue monster is like... It is a TRUE AND UTTER BITCH!!!! I sometimes think that is one of the worse MS symptoms is the fatigue. It is really hard for people to understand how the fatigue monster affects people with MS. It is not just being "tired". It is SO MUCH MORE than that!!!! You do NOT want to anything to do with anyone or anything. I personally get EXTREMELY QUIET when the fatigue monster hits me. One of the reasons is that, talking will actually use up some of my very precious energy. This may be energy I am using to exercise or to do some task. Seriously, it is THAT INTENSE. I do get through the fatigue spells. They last for awhile -- I bitch and whine... but after about a week or so they go away. They just are always lurking and you never know when they are going to raise their ugly heads and over come you. There is nothing you can do about it. I do have to say that, believe it or not, my fatigue issues are MUCH BETTER than they used to be. The nutrition, exercise, mind-set all have caused it to greatly improve. I know that the winter and the lack of the wonderful sunshine also plays on me big time. To be in so much darkness and cold is hard. I just tell myself -- SPRING IS COMING, SPRING IS COMING.... Soon it will be warmer and no more ice on the pavement. I have gotten over to the indoor track at a neighboring high school a few times. It is really nice to have that option. I try to get down there on the weekends when I can and it is available. Otherwise, I am outside. Last weekend, I got out on Sunday and got in a few miles. So all I can do is keep trying and fighting. Many people would say, well if your MS fatigue is so bad you should stay home and rest. They don't understand - I CANNOT!!! That would be giving into the MS BITCH!!! NO - I have to fight... So even going and working out for an hour or so is at least keeping those muscles tone. So as ALWAYS AND FOREVER FORWARD!!!

December 12, 2013

It has been awhile since I have written... Some is due to the winter weather and not really being able to get outside and run, second is due to various events with the holidays approaching... So much to do... gifts to buy and send off; gifts to finish making; plus need to start my holiday baking.... Plus, this last weekend -- I was pretty involved in processing TWO (yes TWO) deer that my son-in-law shot.... Plus, with the EXTREME COLD it was not easy or quick.... It took ALOT of upper body strength to get the skin off. Now we are working on converting the meat to various cuts... i.e.... steaks, roasts, ground meat, and sausages.... So that keeps a body really busy!!!! Plus, it has been HORRIBLY COLD here... I mean in the negative temps.... So my neuropathy/spasticity with my MS has been in FULL SWING!!!!! For me the damage to the nerves... It is like... image having a tooth with the nerves exposed - then drinking something very cold. It probably sends you right up to the rafters. Well, that is how it feels to me in my feet, legs, and hands. With MS - you do not have the coating on your nerves, so they are basically exposed or raw... That means that every EXTREME TEMP causes me a lot of issues. With the cold - we are talking TRUE PAIN that is very INTENSE!!!! This is an understatement .. when you are off crying because you are in SO MUCH PAIN... It is not good.. Plus, the intense pain is wearing on me, I mean REALLY EXHAUSTING!!!! Now taking my energy, that is sometimes very limited add this to dealing with the cold and it is not a good combo. All I can do is bare with it and PRAY the cold snap breaks SOON!!!! This weekend, I am hoping to be able to get over to the indoor track. I really need some serious run time in, even if it is just going around in a big oval... I am VERY, VERY glad my friend told me about the track. WOW!!!! Especially, with this winter we are having so far.. I would really be screwed out of any run time. I do SO MISS being outside and running out in the countryside or even in town. Right now, even if it was warmer I could not run out of town due to deer hunting season. Yes, I wear my LOVELY road construction worker vest - but still a bullet is a bullet and I cannot out run that!!!! I am much more afraid of that than any animals! Inside, I have PLENTY to keep me occupied. I have all my Christmas projects. I did start a HUGE project in January for my daughter and husband - but I will NOT BE ABLE TO COMPLETE. This is the FIRST time I have not completed a project in time. Oh well, it is a HUGE (California King - white on white quilt - done ALL by hand). I did get all the presents for Kollin made... That was fun!!! I haven't made anything for a little one in a LONG time!!! That did eat some of my sewing time. I hope to have the white on white quilt done for next Christmas. Plus, with TWO new family members - I HAD to have Christmas stockings for them. They both turned out great, in my humble opinion - one for my new daughter and grandson... With the Christmas holiday coming up - I really hope I can get in some GOOD run time! Even if it is inside. I don't care. Right now, I am thinking that I would LOVE to increase my mileage to get up to the marathon status by fall 2014. I don't know. The same race I did this year - they are going to do a full marathon and a half. It was a nice race. I LOVED running around the lake. The nice thing about that race is that it is in the area of Madison that I lived. Also it is at a GREAT time of year - September - not to hot or cold. Madison, WI marathon is the first part of November. If it was like this year - that day was HORRIBLE cold. The last race I did was on Thanksgiving day - it was a nice 5k in Freeport. You payment to get in the race was some canned goods for the food pantry. I thought that was GREAT!!! It was a tough race due to the fact that there was snow/ice on the pavement. Since I am not the steadiest and cannot feel or compensate well with my numb feet - it was really tough. But I did the race. Not any great time but, I enjoyed it. It was the first time they had done it and they were very impressed about the turn out. I even got a t-shirt -- that I totally did not expect. The REALLY WONDERFUL thing at this race was this man. Yes, he did the ENTIRE 5K on one leg with crutches. I know that I have my issues running with my MS -- but this man BLEW MY MIND! The determination of this gentleman was so inspiring to me!!!! It just goes to show you - with determination and the right mind-set what can be accomplished. So as ALWAYS AND FOREVER -- FORWARD!!!!

November 18, 2013

I completed the Winnebago IL 8k Turkey Trot on Saturday in 59:21. The weather was MUCH better than last year. It was raining (a cold rain) prior to the race and after the race it really came down hard. I was really ready to bag this race but, my friend Renae talked me into it. It was only fair since, I had talked her into to signing up for the race in the beginning. We even had a GREAT turnout for the race from the Pecatonica crowd!!! That was really nice!!!! I ran the race with my usual pacing being cautious of the wet pavement and any debris/leaves on the roadway. That can be very dangerous and cause me to fall. So I just made sure I stayed in my groove. About halfway the wind was picking up and it did start misting... I was seeing visions of last year's race with the lightening and hail. So I did pick up my pace a bit. But it never did anything more than a fine mist. Soon after the race, the skies broke loose and it really came down. It was REALLY nice to have such a large Pecatonica group at the race!!!! It has been hard to get outside and run because of the nasty weather we have been having. That is the way this time of year is. It is very precarious. I have tried to get out on the weekends as much as possible. Yesterday, I did go and sign up at Byron High School to run the track. It is not too far away and it is an alternative for the winter than just doing the machines. That way I can at least get some distance in even though I am just going around and around (yes, becoming a hamster). I might be looking at doing one more race.... another Turkey Trot 5K in Freeport on Thanksgiving morning. This is a benefit for the food pantry. This is TOTALLY depending on the weather. If it is not good weather - definitely NOT doing this. Otherwise, this is the time I year that I start cracking the whip on my Christmas sewing projects. I have one fairly well completed and LOTS MORE to do.... The weather also keeps me inside more so it actually helps to force me to work inside. I do a lot of sewing. It is actually a two-fold benefit. With MS, one issue (of many) is the numbness of your extremities. So my hands and feet are CONSTANTLY numb and they get very stiff. The sewing helps to keep my hands/fingers nimble. So it is very good muscular exercise for my hands. I sometimes have quite a bit of issues with my hands and small motor movements. One time, I went to vote. As you know, you have to sign when you go there. The official looked at my signature and compared it to the one on file. TOTALLY DIFFERENT!!!!! The official was ACTUALLY NOT going to let me vote. Even though I had picture ID, etc... The only thing that saved me was the wonder of a small town - a couple of the other officials there knew me and could vouch for who I was. Those are some of the weird but, true issues that people with MS have to deal with on a constant basis. Sometimes, you never know when your body is going to head you in a different direction. You have to roll with it.... That is why I keep running.... I am working on keeping my mobility as long as possible. Maybe I will have it forever, maybe not... But I am going to keep working at it. I have noticed that this year, my race times have slowed down. But I am still running. The other positive thing is that I am running longer distances. That is really where I am trying to focus my training. So as ALWAYS AND FOREVER --- FORWARD!!!!

October 18, 2013

I realize how precious everyday that I can celebrate the fact that I can overcome my MS!!! I rejoice when I take off running.... I love when I can get in a good LONG run. It shows me and the MS that I AM IN CONTROL!!!! I do know and truly understand that someday I may not have the control over this HORRIBLE disease... but right now, I seem to for the most part. I am still working on my distance running. Last weekend I set out and ran our Pecatonica Prairie Path, that is fairly flat. I did get in 12.72 mile run on Sunday. So that was GREAT!!! I need more of those longer distance runs to build towards that full marathon. This week I have been taking it easy. The weather has been less than cooperative for running outside. So, my distances have been very short or just working out inside. I have been doing more Pilate's these last few weeks. The reason being, one that my buddy, Laura, has been on vacation and I have been substituting for her; two - the lousy weather outside; and three it really helps me with my spasticity and balance issues. I think many people see people doing Pilate's and because of the slow controlled movements think that it is an easy exercise. WRONG - it is FAR FROM THAT!!!!! Not only is it crucial for a good stable core, balance, flexibility, muscle toning, strengthens bones, etc... Truly not kidding.... MS attacks and works on destroying all of these. So that is why, Pilates is so wonderful for people with MS and other neuromuscular diseases. Yes, I still fall occasionally. But, believe me it A LOT LESS!!! I can even stand on one foot without holding on to anything. Believe me, when I started Pilates there was NO WAY. I had to hold something to stabilize me. Now, I can actually not only stand on one foot but stand on my toes on one foot. Believe me - this is amazing!!!! So this is so crucial for everyday life, not just running. It has helped with my core and overall balance. That is something that MS is very good at trying to destroy! So this is why I sing the praises of Pilates!!! I do wish more people would see its overall benefits. This weekend I have a race, a 10K in Sycamore IL. I did this race last year. It is a fun race and in conjunction with their Pumpkin Festival. There is a large crowd that signs up for this race, I would say over 500 people. Some of the people are even dressed in Halloween costumes. When I run, I tend to heat up very quickly so I really do not like having anything binding or obtrusive on me. I am happiest with a tank top and shorts. The weather is getting cooler whether I will be able to wear that or not we will see. Right now, the forecast is that it is to be sunny and cool (about 40-50 degrees). For me, the cooler weather is the BEST to run in. I am ALWAYS able to go farther and quicker. Since my nerves are damaged and basically exposed - to run in the heat or too cold - is a real struggle and extremely painful. Imagine having a nerve exposed with your teeth, now drink something with ice. Most people would be in terrible pain - some for me. Except that it is not just one little nerve on one tooth, it is usually my ENTIRE LEGS AND FEET that feel the effects. Sometimes (let's get real) even my hands. I am considering one more race before the end of the year, a 8K Turkey Trot in Winnebago (neighboring town). It is a nice race and close by. Otherwise, as ALWAYS AND FOREVER --- FORWARD!!!!

October 4, 2013

YES -- I DID IT!!!! I completed and ran the Garden Half Marathon in Madison, Wisconsin on Saturday, September 28, 2013 (that is 13.1 miles), 100% no walking, without falling, and I was not last!!!!! My time was a respectable 2hrs and 40mins. I took one bathroom break but that was it. This is a HUGE accomplishment for me. Not only am I 53 years old but I have Secondary Progressive MS. What does that mean? It means that I experience various neurological symptoms, pain, spasms -- ALL THE TIME -- 24/7. It never goes away. I have had to learn HOW to run with MS. Why do I say that... imagine trying to run with a swim flipper on one foot, AND a very tight spank around your midriff and left leg, the feeling that your shoes are two sizes to small, your vision will blur now and again, your feet and legs are totally numb, AND you are using every bit of energy and concentration just to keep sequence of picking up one foot, move it forward, and repeating. THIS IS MY REALITY!!!!! Not only in everyday life but, to run is even more challenging. That is why completing this half marathon was SUCH A HUGE TRIUMPH for me!!!! When I arrived at the park early Saturday morning, Big Bird and Cookie Monster were there to send me off on my journey. I was SO EXCITED!!! Who would EVER have imagined that I would be doing this? Believe me - not me nor my doctors! But I did it! Yes, it has taken me YEARS to get to the point of running this distance but, so worthwhile. I am the same person that ONLY 3 1/2 years ago became "cane-free". Yes, before that time I was using a cane and before that I was using a walker at times just to get around. Plus, the neuropathy (nerve pain) was SO intense in my feet that I could not wear regular shoes. Then there is the balance issue... let's just say not good. The ONLY shoes I could wear was Crocs. Plus the factor that I was grossly overweight topping the scales at over 270lbs. How did I get to this point? With ALOT of hard work and support from my wonderful family and friends. Without them - I don't know if I could have done it!!! I did it!!!! When I was first diagnosed in 2006 (but had been experiencing symptoms for about 10 years prior) I started with water aerobics. This did not cause the intense pain in my legs and feet since, I was not putting any weight on them. Plus, the water helped stabilize me. Swimming had ALWAYS been my sport. I was on various swim teams growing up and in college. Running -- NEVER!!! Hated it even when we did it in gym class, now I LOVE it!!! It goes to show you - how you change over the years. Distance running seems to be something that I have mastered. Not only have I learned to read my body but, also to concentrate on my footing and balance. This is not easy. When I am running I am generally looking down. This is because I literally cannot feel the pavement and its imperfections. This is also why I prefer not to run with other people. To have other people around me, takes my focus away on my footing and concentrating on my movement. I enjoy the solitude and I also know that I am NEVER alone. Right now, I am celebrating my VICTORY OVER MS. MS is an unpredictable disease at any point, I may not be able to run or do many of the daily activities. But, TODAY I CAN. I celebrate that fact. What is in my future? Right now, I am working on increasing my distance mileage. The goal is to be able to complete a FULL MARATHON (26.2 MILES) IN 2015. Why, why not!!! I don't believe in allowing MS to beat me. I am going to continue to battle that ugly monster! I will continue my vow -- "ALWAYS FORWARD"!

September 27, 2013

OK --- I'm here in Madison, WI countdown time before the half marathon race tomorrow morning starting at 7:00!!!!! The weather is a bit warmer than it was at our practice run. That may be an issue for me. But I am not going to worry about it. I am just going to enjoy the run!!! Afterwards, it sounds like there is going to be quite a party!!! I want that picture with Big Bird and Cookie Monster. What more could a girl want in this world!!! I am really excited!!! Who would ever EVER thought in a million years that I would be doing this. I am a person that NEVER ran when I was young. Here at 53 years old with SPMS going to run a half marathon --- 13.1 MILES!!!! Yes, the person only a 3 years ago was walking with a cane. The person about 5 years ago could NOT even wear shoes because the neuropathy pain was SO HORIBLE!!! In fact, I walked my first two 5k's in Crocs. The only shoes I could wear!!!! Very very true!!! Now look at me!!! Do I still have neuropathy issues? Yes!!! But they are not as intense as before. Plus, I have learned to blow them off. You just get used to them when you feel it EVERY day!!!! Tomorrow I am going to just enjoy myself!!! For me, the entire run will be a party!! I'm going to be celebrating with EVERY step!!! As I have already proven that I can do this. So now, it is just a matter of doing an 'encore' performance. So JUST enjoy the run and celebrate it!!! Now it is time to rest. The race begins at 7a and I want to be at the park by 6a. So eat and bedtime for this runner. So as ALWAYS and FOREVER FORWARD!!!!

September 19, 2013

http://www.thisisfitworkouts.com/pam-ran-13-miles-oh-and-pam-has-m-s Yes, I lived and COMPLETED the 13.1 miles practice 1/2 marathon run last Saturday!!!! My friend Laura (also trainer, exercise instructor, and my son's former 4th grade teacher) rode her bike as I followed. We did the whole route and I ran it 100%. I did stop for one bathroom break and one minor fall towards the end. But I kept going just nice and steady. I really think Laura was surprised. She asked me when we were about to start, if I plan to walk/run it. I said, NO -- run it 100% at my speed. And that was exactly what I did. It is a beautiful route around Lake Monona in Madison, WI. It was nice having change of scenery along the way. We past gorgeous lake front homes, over the bridge to downtown, saw the beauty of the capital building with the lake in the foreground, Monona Terrace, through parks, etc. I passed all kinds of people; some fishing, some walking dogs, some running, a group of military/veterans running in a group. I said, "Hi!" to all of them. I felt so empowered - that I was ACTUALLY DOING THIS!!!! It was amazing when we got to the bridge and I the GORGEOUS view of the Capitol building and downtown Madison. I was very happy!!! I was born in Madison and it seemed fitting for me to do this HUGE challange here. I was keeping in mind all the years and struggle it has taken me to get to this point. I was also keeping in mind ALL the people with MS that are currently struggling. MS is a struggle (understatement)--- 24/7 - no doubt. But not ALLOWING it to over take you is the key. Yes, I know right now I have accomplished this. Will I be able to do it again, don't know but I am going to give it my damn-ness! I am so blessed to have a great support system of family and friends. It really encourages me and motivates me!!!! The whole run I just locked into my pace and followed Laura as she rode her bike. Just nice and easy! I was getting tired about the 12th mile and did take a very minor tumble. Laura checked me for any big cuts and/or bleeding (since I really very rarely feel sensory pain) and I was OK so off I went. This took all of maybe a minute or two. Afterwards, I walked/paced awhile in the parking lot to get the nerves and muscles calm down. Then I drove to Stoughton for my lefse and coffee breakfast. I was able to sit and enjoy my breakfast/lunch and just relax. Afterwards, believe it or not, I spent the rest of the afternoon shopping and visiting with friends in Stoughton. I felt fine. I just needed my "down time". Now the race is a week away. I am doing shorter runs this week. I don't want to get to over trained and not accomplish the actual race. But I think I am feeling good about everything and being able to handle the distance. Who would have EVER in a million years fathom that I could do this. I know that I did not. Even if you would have said anything about running a 1/2 marathon two years ago - I would have fallen over laughing. ME - 50+ year old, who NEVER ran before, with Secondary Progressive MS... It just goes to show you - that if you dream it and really want it - you can obtain it. What is my secret? It has been YEARS of HARD, HARD WORK; lots and lots of exercise; DRASTIC change of in my nutrition lifestyle to whole foods; drastic weight loss (over 120lbs); and overall improvement of general health. This is not something you do for a few months -- this is a TOTAL LIFESTYLE CHANGE... I am not only one that has experienced drastically improved via this journey - there are others of us out there. But it takes work! I believe in continue to fight the MONSTER OF MS and I will not stop. Now I am focusing on completing this race then,???? The sky is the limit!!!!! REMEMBER, ALWAYS FORWARD~!!!!!!!